Losing Lisa
by tealitful
Summary: Luke finally loses Lisa


" _You know that colorful woman has a huge crush on you, right?"_

How was Luke supposed to tell Lisa that she was horribly wrong – that Garcia was just beginning to tolerate his existence?

"That's because she's pulling your pig-tails, babe. She picks on you because she loooooves you," she said in response his excuse, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from responding.

He and Lisa had been dating for about two months, and the shine of the new relationship was starting to wear off. What he found endearing on their first few dates became annoying the more they got to know each other. What he found important she dismissed, and what hobbies she enjoyed he loathed.

Lisa was funny, beautiful, smart, and altogether wrong for him.

But how was he supposed to break things off with her? He hadn't done the dating thing in so long, and he did't want to accidentally insult her or make the break more messy then it needed to be. She was his best friend's doctor, and it made him fear the breakup would somehow affect Phil like a child amidst his parents' divorce. When he mentioned it to Phil, however, the man just laughed and said he hadn't actually thought Luke and Lisa would have made it past date number 3.

"I only meant to get you back in the dating game. I figured you and Lisa would go on a couple awkward dates and call it quits," he said at one doggy-play-date. "Then you would have gotten the worst of your dating faux-pas out of the way and could pursue an actual relationship without as many stumbles."

Luke looked at him as if he had two heads. "I would never date a girl for practice."

"I know, Luke. I know. And if you and Lisa really did kick it off then there wouldn't really be any issue."

"But you didn't think we would work when you set us up?"

Phil shook his head, a corner of his mouth twitching upward.

Luke sighed and raked his fingers through his hair before pressing his hands against his eyes as if warding off a headache. Roxy, being attuned to his moods, plopped her head in his lap. He scratched behind her ears and relaxed considerably.

"So I have to break up with her."

"It would seem so."

" _You know that colorful woman has a huge crush on you, right?"_

Luke was desperate to break things off, but Lisa made it nearly impossible. Every time he attempted to start a more serious conversation, she would start to talk about how happy he made her. The relationship dragged on another month.

But it was Roxy that was the deciding factor.

Roxy had made it clear that she disliked Lisa from the first time Luke had allowed her to run with them. When she was at there house, Roxy would adamantly avoid her hand whens Lisa tried to pet her or simply avoid the room by climbing onto Luke's bed and taking a nap (also insuring Lisa could not stay the night).

The decisive moment in which Luke could not take anymore – refused to take anymore – came when Lisa insisted upon watching Roxy. Normally he would get have Amy, his dog sitter, watch Roxy when he was away on a case, but she had plans that could not be rescheduled. This happened occasionally with cases being sporadic, so Luke wasn't surprised. When this happened Garcia was always happy to step in.

Although she was adamant about keeping her office extremely clean, Garcia had a dog bed tucked under her desk for moments like this. She could recognize Roxy's needs almost as well as Luke could, and Roxy was always happy for a playdate with Sergio.

But this time, Lisa wanted to watch Roxy. "You don't need to have Garcia watch Roxy when you have a girlfriend who can do it," she'd said, refusing to listen to Luke's protests. "You should should only be involved with coworkers at work. Letting her help you with personal stuff is only going to feed her crush."

Luke gave in at this, not wanting to have the "Garcia doesn't have a crush on me" talk or the "it's perfectly normal to be friends with your coworkers" talk again. He shouldn't have.

Thankfully, the case was wrapped up in just under two days, and Luke was able to get back to Roxy who he'd been horribly worried about. When he open the door to his apartment door he expected Roxy to be waiting to jump on him. Instead, his girl was laying on the couch, clearly not feeling well. He thew his go-bag to the ground and rushed to her side, petting her gently and searching for anything that might be causing her discomfort.

"Gosh, Luke! It almost looks as if you're more eager to greet her than you are me!" Lisa said, appearing from his room.

 _I am_ , Luke thought. "Have you taken her to the vet? She's clearly not feeling well."

Lisa scoffed. "She's just pouting because I started giving her dog food."

Luke's entire body froze in shock. Who did she think she was? Garcia would have never done this. "What in your clearly unright mind led you to do that?"

Lisa sighed as if she were about to explain something for the hundredth time to a difficult patient. "Roxy's a dog, Luke. She should be eating dog food, not people food. Dog food will save you time and money in the long run. I honestly can't believe you've been preparing human meals for a dog."

Luke stood and straightened himself to his full height and puffed out his chest. He wanted to intimidate her. "You had not right to go and change her food like that. I prepared several of her meals in advance. There was no call for you to do this."

"Plenty of dogs eat this stuff every day. Your dog is just being a drama queen," Lisa said, huffing. She clearly couldn't believe that he was angry at her.

"Yeah, those dogs have been eating that food since they were puppies and are probably used to it. Roxy has been eating what I feed her for years, and the change in food is surely making her sick."

"Well, she'll get used to it."

Luke looked at her for a moment. The silence between them dragged. "No, she wont. Get your stuff and get out."

Lisa's eyes widened. "You aren't seriously breaking up with me over your dog, are you?"

"No," Luke said. "I'm breaking up with you because you clearly don't care about what I care about. We've been falling apart since the beginning, Lisa. I'm not what you need, and you certainly aren't what I need."

"Oh?" Lisa was clearly becoming angry. So much for a clean break. "I'm not what you need? Well what do you need, Luke?"

" _You know that colorful woman has a huge crush on you, right?"_

Luke went into work the next day haggard but glad to be done with it. He had called the vet as soon as he had manged to get Lisa out of his home, and the bet had assured him everything would be fine after Roxy got a few of her normal meals back in her.

When a cup of coffee was gently set before him, it took him a moment to recognize that indicated another person. He looked up to find Garcia sitting on the edge of his desk, concern written in the furrow of her brow.

"You don't look your usual hot self, so I figured you might benefit from some caffeine," she said, but her joking tone was laced with uncertainty and concern.

"Roxy has been sick, so I didn't sleep great last night," he said. After a few seconds of contemplation, "And the fact that Lisa was attempting to refuse our break up didn't really help me."

Garcia only let her face slip into an expression of shock for a moment before resting a hand on his shoulder. "We've already had one agent marry a doctor. At least now you can try to find a more original girlfriend."

His hand enveloped the one she'd left on his shoulder as he studied her face. "Right, as usual, Garcia."

And Luke realized the he had a huge crush on that colorful woman.

* * *

This took way longer than it should have to finish, and I'm sorry. I started writing it as Lisa was introduced and then school started and I just put off finishing it.


End file.
